So a lot of things have happened to me this year. But its seemed to of just passed me by, like everything major was a blur.. But when I think of it, that’s how I remember everything, in blurs? Like how my grandfather passed away this year, it seemed like a blur. The only thing I remember so clearly from that time was when we went to spread his ashes the water was so clear. It was so deep and I could see the sand at the bottom of the ocean. Also I’m really bad a dates. Like I said, I remember everything like blur’s. Another unfortunate event that has happened is the passing of my husband’s grandfather. Those were great losses to mine and his family.
Later, as this year has been coming to an end, my relationship status has gone from “in a relationship” to “married” that’s right I went from a ms? to a Mrs. I have to say it feels really weird. Some good and bad. I feel like because my last name has changed I have to find myself even more so now. Like a little lost? Don’t get me wrong I love my husband with all I have. He’s my best friend and father of my child. I don’t know just kinda wired… Hopefully I can find the words to really describe what being married feels like. But it’s funny to feel this way I guess…
Being that I am only 19 I feel as if I have been through a lot of the “life experiences” already. I’ve had my first child, married, graduated, working…. it just feels done. I always forget that I’m 19… honestly.
I guess that’s why I feel like I’ve lost a little of myself… But I have hope that I will gain most of me back. Which is why starting this year, 2011 I want to start to get back into drawing. I’ve always loved drawing. mostly portraits and a little of everything else. I want to start painting more also, just over all get creative again. not that one can ever stop being creative. listen and discover more music blah blah blah.. i know i’m boaring….sorry
graduated highschool smoked a cigarette. kissed someone.(apart from family) gotten so drunk you passed out. ridden every ride at an amusement park. collected something really stupid. gone to a rock concert. helped someone. gone fishing.
watched four movies in one night. gone long periods of time with out sleep. lied to someone. snorted cocaine. failed a class. dealt drugs. been in a car accident. been in a tornado. done hard drugs. watched someone die. been to a funeral. burned yourself. run a marathon. cried yourself to sleep. spent over $200 in one day. flown on a plane. been cheated on. cheated on someone. written a 10 page letter. gone skiing. been sailing. cut yourself. had a best friend. lost someone you loved. shoplifted something. been to jail. dangerously close to being in jail. had detention. skipped school. got in trouble for something you didn’t do. stolen books from the library. gone to a different country. dropped out of school. been in a mental hospital. watched the “harry potter” movies. had an online diary. duh tumblr! fired a gun. gambled in a casino. had a yard sale. had a lemonade stand. actually made money at the lemonade stand. been in a school play. taken a lie detector test. swam with dolphins. gone to sea world. voted for someone on a reality tv show. written poetry. read more than 20 books a year. gone to europe. loved someone you shouldn’t have. used a coloring book over age 12. had surgery. had stitches. taken a taxi. seen the washington monument. had more than 5 im’s/online conversations going at once. overdosed. had a drug or alcohol problem. been in a fist fight. suffered any form of abuse. had a hamster. pet a wild animal. used a credit card. gone surfing in california. done “spirit day” at school. dyed your hair. gotten a tattoo. had something pierced. gotten straight a’s. been on the honor roll. known someone with hiv or aids. taken pictures with a webcam. started a fire. gotten caught having/going to a party while parents were gone.